Character Modeling

Second through fifth grade

Cartoon: Child sitting on a lawn next to a pile of leaves asks an adult with a rake, "How come when dad has to weed, it's a 'waste of his time,' but when I have to weed it's 'building my character'?"

 

Children learn the most about character by watching adults. By encouraging you to reflect on what your child is learning by watching you, Character Modeling helps you raise a child who sees other human beings first and foremost as fellow-traveler sacred spirits.

Key Strategies

  • Visibly demonstrate caring for others. You can do so in organized ways (e.g. visiting sick relatives, collecting clothes for the homeless, marching in support of causes dear to you) but also in myriad daily, spontaneous ways (e.g., comforting a sad friend or helping a neighbor)
  • Take the long view on your child’s “success” Worry less whether your child is happy or “succeeding” in the moment, and spend more time cultivating — in the words of William Faulkner — “a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance”

Additional Resources

Book: The Parents We Mean To Be, Richard Weissbourd
Book: The Altruistic Personality: Rescuers of Jews in Nazi Europe, Samuel P. Oliner and Pearl M. Oliner

Character Modeling
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