Everyday conversation is how we understand and care for each other, but technology often gets in the way. You can overcome the obstacles and foster rich conversation in your family by shifting priorities and treating children as equals.
“In family conversations, children learn that what…matters most is not the information shared but the relationships sustained.”
— Sherry Turkle
Key Strategies
- Make space for conversation. When you sense a possible conversational moment, assess: can you clear your mind and your agenda for five or 10 minutes so you can let the conversation flow? If so…
- Get conversation started. Trigger your child’s participation with your own attention, engagement, humor, and respect. In this context, it’s helpful to think of your child as a mini-adult: gaze over at them and add 30 years. Demonstrate that you’re listening by asking questions.
- Keep conversation going. As the words start flowing, imagine that you are all climbing into Spaceship Conversation as equals. There is no hierarchy on this vessel. You’re not “the parent” and they are not ”the child.” You’re all working together to take this ship somewhere delightful and memorable. Don’t lecture or dominate the conversation and don’t let yourself get distracted by your phone!
Additional Resources
Book: Voice Lessons for Parents: What to Say, How to Say it, and When to Listen, Wendy Mogul
Book: Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age, Sherry Turkle
Conversation