PK through Second Grade
To raise a child who has the identity of a team player, think less in terms of assigning your child chores and more in terms of inviting your child to participate in the life of a family that works together. Recognize that it takes children a long time to learn new skills.
“I totally changed the way I thought about her zest to help. Even if she made a huge mess, broke something, or came over and grabbed a utensil from my hand, I would remind myself, She is trying to help but doesn’t know how. I need to teach her. And that can take time.”
— Michaeleen Doucleff
Key Strategies
- Shift some of the time you spend on child-centered activities into time you spend doing household chores together. For example, Saturday morning might be clean-the-house and laundry time.
- Recognize that children need a lot of practice to master skills that enable them to be helpful. With young children, the key is to invite them to help with small, discrete tasks. For example, invite your child to take the spoon from your hand and stir what’s in the mixing bowl.
- Simple acknowledgement for contributions made is often better than praise. American parents have a tendency to lavish praise on children for doing simple things. But acknowledgement for contributions made is often a better way to help children gain confidence and motivation to participate in the life of the family.
Additional Resources
Book: Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans, Michaeleen Doucleff
Life Teaching