PK through fifth grade
Preschoolers are in the thick of learning how to manage their emotions. You can help by paying close attention to your child so that they feel heard, which is just as important and beneficial to preschoolers as it is to adults.
“Children cannot really be taught how to manage their emotions; they have to figure it out for themselves. When you stay with them and acknowledge their feelings, you’re giving them time and space to do just that.”
Key Strategies
Try using the Empathy Reflex
- First, describe to yourself the emotion you think you see in your child.
- Second, make a guess as to where that emotion is coming from.
- When you make an effort to guess where your child’s emotions are coming from, it forces you to “try on” their feelings. This awareness enables you to respond in a sensitive and caring way.
Spend Special Time with your child
- Set aside 10-15 minutes per day and do whatever your child wants to do — as long as it’s safe — even if you really dislike that activity.
- Special Time is like money in the bank. Special Time is satisfying to your child because it is deeply connecting, and they’re in charge.
Take time for Recovery Listening
- Give your full attention to your child when they’re upset. Move close, establish eye contact if possible, and just listen. Acknowledge your child’s feelings.
- Don’t try to fix the problem or teach them anything. Don’t declare consequences or give in to their demands. Just sit with them, supporting them as they regain their balance.
Additional Resources
Book: The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind, Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
Book: Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges, Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore